Julie’s Poem

 

This morning I was sorry

Sorry that you were hurt

This evening I am angry

Angry that you are gone.

 

Hurt by a dumb mistake

That silence right won’t make

The words that won’t be spoken

Will leave hearts sadly broken.

 

How could you weigh a few 

seconds of an old habit

Over weeks of your boo

Saying that he loves you.

 

Great couples are not those

That never have a problem

They’re those that see the rose

Rather than see the thorn.

 

And if you are so self-righteous

Devoid of imperfections

Explain to me your lie

The one you wrote last night

 

Or when you let my dog out

I judged you not for careless

Or thought the worst scenario

But saw your good intentions.

 

The act that you can’t bear

hurt because you assumed

Intent that wasn’t there

That’s what seemed as if doomed.

 

And so instead of judging

Why do you ask me not

What questions burn inside you

That torture you for naught?

 

 

You missed an act of love

I planned for weeks on end

You lost a treasure trove

Of memories I made.

 

 

You lost out an asado

My first night on the boat

A bed made of rose petals

A wall full of love letters.

 

 

You took my time for granted

When I saved it for you

My time is my religion

I was let down by you.

 

So next time you get hurt

Ask questions, don’t assume

The worries that consume

You, may not be in facts grounded.

 

I’m only just a human

I fall but I get up

I had love in my heart

You hurt me with a dart.

 

You were raised as a Christian

He gave his other cheek

And yet when you felt slighted

You played to hide and seek.

 

I seek now, hide no more, girl

I miss you, in my heart

I miss our conversations

I miss your incantations.

 

I miss you in the bedroom

I miss you on our hikes

I miss you going to Starbucks

I miss our long, great hugs.

 

I miss your bright enthusiasm

I miss your great support

I miss playing detective

I miss waking in snow.

 

I miss sharing my days, love

I miss making you smile

I miss holding you close, love

I miss you by a mile.

 

My Dad has always told me

That in order to blame one

He needs to both have hurt us

And meant to have that done.

 

It’s clear I meant no harm, Jul

And no damage was made

Just look at my intentions

I even miss your name.

 

If one day you feel lonely

Just know that up this hill

There’s one guy who thinks solely

‘Bout this Jack’s only Jill.

 

--Marina del Rey, February 13th, 2021 to Altadena, February 19th, 2021